No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
