forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
