dude i'm inner monologue high
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
