last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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