i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
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I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
bring money and cleavage
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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