I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
