nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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