I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
