also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The beer is more important than you right now.
We have started to decorate penises.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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