I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize