WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize