You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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