we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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