So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
