I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's never too late to be topless.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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