i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
