I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize