my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Drake has all the answers
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
