U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
