Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
