i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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