try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
