Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
