guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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