I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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