first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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