quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
