You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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