Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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