Too much gin, very little bucket
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize