Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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