one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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