Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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