she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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