Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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