It's like God shit irony all over that family
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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