I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
