so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
