I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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