I look better un-naked...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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