just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
