At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
