we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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