I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
