Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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