I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
