yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
