Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
