my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
A+ Viking dick
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
