The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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