That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
are you so shy because you have an std?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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