sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
