There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I fill condoms, not promises.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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