She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
