Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
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